it has been a rather depressing and disappointing period in my life the last week of january 2008. i discovered that i did not get the promotion which i was very much hoping for. i had every reason to belief that i will get the position that i have been aiming for many years though the chairman of the interview panel was my, then, gm who hates me. logically, i should have gotten the job as i thought i did well in the interview, scored 100% in the consistency and profiling test, the only one who was doing the job for many years….this was the first interview that i have failed in my life. i could not believe the twist of faith, crushed as if my first love failed (the risk of being in love with your work), angry at everyone around me, everything anyone said sounded wrong and i was everything that could describe a devastated person. the worst thing is that i am now to report to a friend!!!!
that weekend, i went to my gynaecologist for a monthly check-up and the doctor announced that we were going to have a baby boy…. i thanked god for the news…secretly, i was hoping for a boy to make up for a pair as i already have nadia nasira. i felt as if god was patting my back with the message, “i know what is best for you and i know the secret behind everything that revolves around you…it is your job to ponder and reflect upon these events…”
that was exactly what i did….ponder!!! i realised that as compared to how i felt when my first love failed, this failure, god has cushioned my fall with my little girl, a husband, a little one on the way, a blessed home and many other things that i must be thankful for. i decided that it was no one’s fault that things turned out this way and i shouldn’t be mourning anymore over what i thought was a loss. the truth is behind every adversity, there is opportunity. yet, we are afraid to leave out comfort zone, face the challenges and convert disappointments to success. a lot of things came clearer to me, i saw some realities that have been looking straight in the eye but me, refused to acknowledge. i realised that in life, we are alone. no one understands or feel our pain that the way we feel it, so, it is not fair to expect anything from anyone.
on the 4 february 2008, i channelled all my energy towards my work, told myself that no one can take away my pride that i have shown in my work all these years. the outcome was great…. i completed some of the major tasks for the financial year in a day, or rather close to completion. and guess what!!! that afternoon, i met an officer from another division who informed me that they are creating a new post (similar to what i have missed) and would be happy if i could join them! god has shown me that there are opportunities around me, i just need to pray and work hard to unfold the paths that would eventually lead me to success!!! after all, life is about having hopes and faith!!!
despite everything, my heart is still sore and distant about everything that has to do with work. let’s take one day at a time!!!
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