the birth of my son

it has been so long since i last wrote on my blog…. with the birth of my son, house renovation, going back to work and etc., there was so much to write, yet i couldn’t get myself to write any.

the birth of my son was filled with so much drama. actually, this pregnancy was tough and had been eventful. at 35 weeks pregnant, i looked like i was going to deliver anytime. my instinct was telling me that there was something wrong but i didn’t know whether my worries were real. i have been having some strange pain, i couldn’t walk properly. i felt very uncomfortable for the past few weeks and the feeling was mounting the past few days.

at 35 weeks pregnant, 20 may 2008 to be exact, i visited my gynae who as usual treated me as if i was whimpering coz for no apparent reason. i was upset and i insisted that the pain wasn’t ‘normal’. he then decided to do an internal check and there was a look on his face.

he went to wash his hands and smiled at my husband. he told me ‘i should have listened to mother’s instinct.’ he told me ‘the cervix is thinning and if i break the waterbag, you can deliver anytime. so, you decide when you want to deliver. what!!! this is the most obnoxious and nonsensical sentence i have ever heard. i am to decide? am i the gynogologist? who is the expert here?

me, being so naïve, went home worrying over the decision i had to make. since it was my second wedding anniversary the next day, i put my worries behind me. i spent a wonderful day with my husband and daughter on 21 may 2008. the worries came back the next day when i felt that the baby wasn’t moving much. again, run to the hospital and did the ctg test, everything was ok but the gynae warned us that we should decide to have the baby as soon as possible as i was already dilated 2 cm on tuesday. hah have i been walking around being dilated he assured us that it is safe to deliver a 36 week old baby. me went home calling my khine’s mum to ask for her advice, then i followed my husband to visit his doctor to also get some advice.

guess what, since i am the one who was suffering, my husband left it to myself to decide taking into consideration all other advice that we received. i guess my husband also trusted my instinct too. and my deciding factor was………… since my girl was born on a friday, i wanted another friday baby, therefore, i said let us have faith in allah and go, have the baby.

we went home from my mother in law’s, packed the stuffs that i already put aside and i went in that night to have my second baby. i missed nadia nasira so much at that time. it was all smooth and i saw the doctor in the morning, 4 cm dilated and there, he broke the waterbag. i agreed for the painkiller. this time, it was painful and again, the baby was vacuumed out. it was a baby boy weighing 2.43 kg, coming into the world with such load cries.

as usual, i am the happy happy mummy. i was concerned whether a doctor has examined my son, no one could answer me correctly. the nurse came and told me that my son has difficulty breathing and that he was grunting. my husband was not around as he had gone to pray the friday prayers. what do i do? i insisted a doctor to examine my son!!!

my husband was back only to be given the task to go look for my son and make sure he is fine. the paediatrician that i have decided on was not around and the nurses couldn’t get him on the line. i can’t wait for the paed to come and check my son, so, i just yelled, “change the paediatrician”. we got the doctor on call to check my son and the drama continued….my son was sent to the icu and put on the ventilator….and it was about 4 pm then. 4 hours after delivery. oh my god!!! are they running a hospital? why wasn’t a paed present in the delivery room when i was delivering baby at 35 weeks? or at least, why wasn’t a doctor examine him much earlier? finally, i got to speak to the doctor i chose and he was absolutely no idea that he had a patient though the nurses claim that he had been informed!!!!

it was a horrifying situation for us. there were events happening thereafter, with doctors telling us status update but all that i hear is he is stable with the support. i want my son back without that support!!!! my heart was screaming!!!! my paed finally had to decide, after he had almost lost him, to transfer my son to another hospital where they have a particular machine that could save my son. the machine was there but occupied. another obstacle!!! we can’t sacrifice another life for my son. it took a while to vacate the ventilator and there went my son from one hospital to another. i gave away my son to the nurses at the labour room and had yet to hold him again!!!

i brought my tiny muhammad nashwan nasr home 15 days after he was born…...i am grateful to all the doctors who touched my son and above all, the almighty allah. i wish to also thank all those who prayed for the well being of my family, may allah protect and bless all their family with health, wealth, love and happiness....