ghost from the past....

a few days ago, a classmate of mine requested to add me on facebook friends' list. i passed her a remark and i ignored her request because of some differences that was irreconcilable.

my email response to her is self-explanatory.... no matter what your opinions are about my reply, i must say that i feel very contented and at peace for doing what i did.

Dear Vicky,

I must thank God for this opportunity whereby God has made our paths cross after 18 years just for me to be able to tell you all those things I didn’t get to say 18 years ago.

Firstly, I have forgotten that you existed because I didn’t want carry a bag of bad memories in life. It is not until now that you knock on my door claiming that you are my friend. ‘Hi Bas, ingat I lagi ke? I am your friend Vicky?’ All I responded to you was ‘friend ke, I still remember what you did in the past.’ Now you flood my inbox with emails after emails.

Viknesvary sent you a message.

(no subject)

"Really, if that is so, i cannot change the past but just thought that the older we grow, we tend to keep in touch! It's still up to u to decide! Thanks"

Viknesvary sent you a message.

Subject: ???!!!!

""Apologizing does not mean that you are wrong and the other one is right...It simply means that you value the relationship much more than your ego ...""

Viknesvary sent you a message.

(no subject)

"I just wanted to let u know that I too remember what you did to me in the past, but I forgave you as neither of us were angels those days! We were not matured enough and time changes everything. You better grow up and be matured! Think and decide!"

I was going to ignore your earlier emails but I think you are getting a bit too much because I let you say things at your liberty. Since you kept on provoking me, let’s get this straight and let me remind you:

You were my classmate and became a friend by chance because we both were close to Santa Maria. I accepted you as a friend until the day you backstabbed me by spreading rumors about me. You fed Santa Maria with stories and stories everyday until she denounced my friendship and be friends with you. You knew Santa Maria was interested in Richard and you capitalized on that to make up so many stories. You even went to the extend of pretending as Richard giving Santa Maria Valentine’s Day card. I saw the card which had your handwriting and used my sources to get the real Richard to tell Santa Maria the truth. That is how I made Santa Maria see that you were a liar all along. Your defense was….you were having cancer and would not live long. Do you know that ever since, our joke used to be….how come she is not dead yet? Obviously, after 18 years, you survived the cancer. Santa Maria is still my best friend from my childhood. It is a fact good always rise above evil. Do you remember when it all started? It started right after Merdeka Day 1990 (the day Ipoh boys got to meet me) when your tuition friend Gopal was interested in me from the moment he saw me. I am sure you burnt with jealousy and that is why you did what you did. You fed him stories about me as well until you both ended up as a couple. At the same time, Gopal kept in touch with me and he planned with me to change the BM tuition session without you knowing so that he could be in the same class as I did. When you found that out, you changed your timing to be with us. You continued being evil all along until we graduated high school. You made the best years of schooling years a hell for me…the pain, misery, humiliation and being torn away from my best friend. I hated you for that. It was really great when you were left behind in a different class while Santa Maria and I moved up to a better class. I passed my exams with flying colours, left Ipoh to pursue my university life while still being the best friend to the girl from my childhood. I was always updated with your lousy behavior in Ipoh but I didn’t give a damn anymore.

I am quite embarrassed to have to highlight all these to you but you know something, as human beings inflicts pain onto others, they don’t feel it so, they forget and expect to be accepted as if nothing had happened. You are wrong. I have forgiven all your evilness because I have elevated myself way above you since I am of a different class compared to you. I have always been the elite. Your friendship was a mistake both Santa Maria and I made but we both learned from it and are now better friends. It is my nature that I forgive but I NEVER forget even a tiny bit if anyone has wronged me.

I don’t understand how YOU can talk about valuing friendship. When it comes to you, I don’t need to have any ego because I never consider myself being at par with you. Being immature does not give anyone an excuse to do anything and validate their behavior. I have met so many friends on facebook and when I told them ooo…you used to bully me in school… their response were so positive. They were like… I’m sorry lah. Budak-budak masa tu… you are the only one who responded to me the way you did. Naturally, it speaks better about you being the same. By the way, there is nothing for you to forgive me because I am very clear about who had wronged who. You are telling me to “better grow up and be matured! Think and decide!" I was matured enough not to respond to you but you kept emailing me so I thought I better put you in place. To decide what? To accept you as a friend on facebook? there is nothing to think and decide. I have decided when I was 17 years old that you do not qualify to be my friend.

I thank God for giving me this chance to say all these and make peace with my past.