i was appointed to be part of a tender evaluation committee for risk and insurance broking services for one of the power generation projects that is being carried.
i attended the kick-off meeting and as we started the evaluation, one of the project team member from another organisation who is also on GLC cross assignment program asked a few questions. i explained, something i have done for many many years, so it came naturally. he then passed a comment or two about the evaluation criteria. i explained again....i was short of saying since it was an approved evaluation criteria, spare me from having to explain.
he passed another comment to which i could no longer be courteous. he said the international market would prefer to deal with mat sallehs, so why is it that having bumiputera status is a mandatory criteria. now, let's be sarcastic.... he is a GLC cross assignee! doesn't he know the national agenda? GLCs CSR requirements? do most malaysians have the mentality that mat sallehs have got better brains and therefore, are more capable than any other malaysian? how about this... we have beggars and they are malaysians, the mat salleh countries also have beggars and they are mat sallehs. if you need to strike a deal in China, you learn to deal with the Chinese. it works the same way here!!!
well, i was a bit blunt, arrogant as well as rude, i guess. i couldn't help it. i thought our exchanges would have kept him quiet but no! he came up with another controversial statement or rather question! why are women in malaysia against polygamy? mereka yang rugi. i felt like he walked into an alligator's mouth ever ready to snap. he was trying to trap me into a conversation that is sensitive to most malaysian women but not me. he wasn't prepared to what he was about to hear.
me: polygamy, i am not against it. can, no problem!
he: most malaysian women are. not like the arab women.
me: well, i guess, marrying more than one has become a culture to the arabs and therefore, the women there readily accept the idea. not us. our culture has more indian and chinese influence which propagate monogamy.
he: Allah allows it.
me: yes, Allah allows it by saying... “Marry women of your choice 2, 3 or 4 provided that you will be able to do justice amongst them and you will not be able to do justice amongst them even if it is your ardent desire”...men like the first part but what about the second part that qualifies you to marry more than one? Allah provide the general principles in the Quran and it is the duty of the religious authorities to implement them with the specific guidelines using Quran, Sunnah, Ijmak and Qias. tomorrow, if Datuk Shahrizat decides to promote polygamy as a way to address social issues with women in this country, polygamy may no longer be a taboo subject in malaysia. She could urge the authorities to come up with guidelines to ensure men who decides on polygamy do justice to their women. there will be a set of rules which probably says 1) men who wants to indulge in polygamy must prove their ability to be just in providing the basic needs for all their women 2) women no longer need to assist their husbands in making a living and may opt for being lady of leisure and perform their tugas hakiki i.e. be wives, mothers and home makes. that is what the arab men do... they look for money and provide for their women while their women be home makers and take care of their men and children. if you want to follow the arabs, then do like the arabs. when this happens, let's see how many men are willing to go ahead with polygamy... all their applications would probably be turned down.
he: (astonished at what he had just heard tried to take a different turn) that is why they go to thailand.
me: we still tak rugi. we live this life for the hereafter. it is so easy for women to enter paradise. if men were to go to thailand, they must be prepared to go to hell. siapa rugi? men! it is just that malaysian women hold their husbands so close to their hearts while the arab women are programmed not to. malaysian men are ungrateful in this aspect. malaysian women should probably live the life of arab women while the men suffer to do justice in marrying more than 1.
he was dumbfounded and left the room after a while. good riddance as we could now continue with the task at hand. i asked myself... was i being blunt or was it all pure arrogance....
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