Thursday, January 29, 2009

being pregnant

i went to a tender meeting this morning at my old office, jalan timur. collected my pay slip, popped in the ex-gm's room to say hi, had breakfast with my ex-boss, saw a few of my ex-collegues cum real good friends before the meeting.

spent 3 hours evaluating a tender and as i was leaving the building, i saw a pregnant lady walking into the lift. immediately i started reminiscing the days when i was pregnant. it was such a great feeling, words are unable to describe it and you wouldn't do justice if you tried. the anticipation of holding a new born..... everything about being pregnant, it just makes you complete. i tried to remember how it felt like holding both my children for the first time, i felt a pang of regret because i couldn't hold my son for long. they whisked him away and i only got to hold him to my chest again 14 days later. poor baby was in the icu struggling to be alive. he is a fighter, he pulled through it with the blessings of the al mighty and the prayers of family, friends and relatives.

i am so thankful for everything and now, i miss being pregnant!!! duh!!!!

first day at playschool

both my husband and i wanted to send nadia nasira to a playschool so that she could make friends (since she is extremely friendly that she wants to befriends everyone which really scares us, the parents). we wanted her to learn how to interact with other children along with other things as well. we surveyed what was available and decided on alim kids for a start as we wanted both english and islamic learning environment.

we called up the centre in usj since it was closer to our house and was glad to sign up for a trial session. we, the whole family, accompanied her for the first session and coincidently it was her nanni's birthday. there were about 10 children with their mums and some grandmums too in the class while some of the dads were waiting outside. nadia nasira went straight in, excited as she can be when she sees other children and toys. she sat with me (tried so hard to keep her seated) during the introduction session by her teacher (i have yet to know her name). since nadia nasira has yet to learn how to share, she wanted everything that attracted her and refused to share. she was quite loud as well.

there were singing and learning: capital a and small a; phonics learning - ants on an apple, ae, ae, ae; painting their palms and make palm prints; some barney songs, head - shoulders - knee - feet; going round holding tips of a parachute, swinging up and down; singing i love you, you love me, we are best friends like friends should be, with a big big hug and a kiss from me to you, wont you say you love me too.... concluding with a zikir yaa zal jalaali wal ikram, yaa zal jalaali wal ikram, yaa zal jalaali wal ikram, amitna alaa deenil islam; quequing up to salam and hug the teacher who then gave a mickey chop on one seetie asked for another. in the midst of everything, i had to keep bringing her back to the group as she kept on going off the group to play with other toys in the room.

the class ended with the last session being a refreshment session. there were small round tables with small plates of wafers and chips more and a drink. nadia nasira had a bite of each and a sip of drink. and she ran out again to play.

it was fun for mummy, nadia nasira and her nanni who was watching. the tiring part was to get her to focus.

i couldn't take many pics because she would then want the camera herself and go and take a shot of her own, exactly like her aunty na!!!! thank god, her dad did some recording of her in action.

we then registered her for the complete module....rm200 for a 90 minutes session for 8 weeks....either children nowadays are of high maintenance or parents nowadays working hard, wanting to give their children the best of whatever available. or just us, the metropolitan parents!!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

teaching nadia nasira

teaching your children.....the big job!!!

since nadia nasira was born till now, we used to either read zikir, sing songs or tell a story when we were putting her to sleep. all three of us do that, her nanni, me and her dad. when i drive her to and from her nanni's house, i would either talk to her about the surrounding, put on nasyid, and today, at 22 months, nadia nasira can say some of the zikir, sing three songs and tell stories.

she says, ilahaa illallah, allah hu akhbar. she sings, are you sleeping, brader john, morning bess ringing, ding dong bell; twinkle twinkle little star, how i mander what you are, up abose the skky so high, like a diamond in the sky; and baa baa back sheep ave you any wool, yes sir yes sir three bags full, abcd efg. teach her something she already know, she would continue saying what you intended instead of repeating after you. i think she just doesn't like repetition, that is why she sings, 'are you sleeping' the way she does!!!

my conclusion is....teach your children whatever you want just before they are going to sleep, repeat them year in year out and i suppose they would internalize it all. i hope i would be able to teach the tons of things that i would want her to learn.... and the first of it all; do not SCREAM and do not hit your brother!!!

maaan, i should start tonight my teaching mission. Good luck, mummy!!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

morning routine

nowadays, since i work in bangsar, i leave home a little earlier in the mornings. either one of my little sweetie pies would be still asleep but sometimes, like this morning, both of them were awake.

i will be extremely in love with my children every morning, other times i still love them but it would be a rushed feeling as the world is rushing along with you. it is only in the mornings would i have the few minutes to treasure. nadia nasira would be very sweet in the mornings, the way she smiles could melt anyone’s heart.

one thing about her is that she wakes up with a smile every morning, ever since she was a baby, that is. now that she can talk, there will always be something to say….like ‘sayang maamy’. she would snuggle up her dad or me whenever she sleeps next to either one of us. ever since she has a brother, her first words would normally be ‘adik’ as she looks searchingly for her brother and comment ‘adik sheeping’. then, she would rush to be by his side which would have disturbed his sleep, of course. if he had just moved a bit, she would go ‘adik mangun, maamy adik mangun’ until he actually wakes up disturbed by her increasingly loud and excited ‘adik mangun’.

whenever her dad is around, he would put her in the car seat while i do the same to the little fellow. as we leave the house after kisses and goodbyes to daddy, i would say ‘nadia nasira, read doa’ and she would put her two tiny hands together until i finish saying the prayers. at the end of the prayers, you can hear a little voice saying ‘amin’as she brings her two hands to her face. i would continue chatting with her, telling her about the different colors in a traffic light, a nearby mosque, children going to school and etc. when i turn into puchong intan, she would go ‘nanni house’, she knows exactly where she is going!

some of the things that she would normally tell me are ‘maamy, go!’ pointing at the traffic light (regardless whether it is green or red), ‘mammy, mosque! daddy allah’, pointing at the mosque. we would sometimes stop to buy some ‘kuih’ especially ‘pap’ for ‘karipap’, she would be most happy.

in the meanwhile, i could hear my little son’s voice in the background. his car seat is facing the rear, which is a shame because i don’t get to speak to him, look at him like what i used to do to nadia nasira when she was a little. he is looking at the maid’s face more than looking at my face, which really upsets me. now, i should work on switching their seats since nadia nasira’s seat is facing the front and muhammad nashwan nasr’s the rear, even, they both could interact, i suppose.

i would drop off the two of them and the maid at the nanni’s house, with a few kisses to both of them, shouting of goodbye and take care of adik and listen to nanni and mummy love you, i would speed to work.

have a blessed day, my little sweetie pies.

the value of time.....

To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

being a mother

my sister emailed me this article to my gmail account which i rarely access. i am glad i did today.

Being a mother

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of 'starting a family.' 'We're taking a survey,' she says, half-joking. 'Do you think I should have a baby?'

'It will change your life,' I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

'I know,' she says, 'no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations....' But that is not what I meant at all.

I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking 'What if that had been MY child?' That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to primitive level of a
bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of 'Mom!' will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.

She might arrange for child care but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will Think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her Discipline to keep her from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that rest-room. However she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to
save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years - not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a Cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks..

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time.

I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts. My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.

' You'll never regret it,' I finally say.

Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

This blessed gift from God! Being a Mother.

Monday, January 5, 2009

butterflies in the tummy

I am in my new office in TNB Bangsar. I reported duty on the 2 january 2009, and today is the second day here. There were not many people on the day I reported duty the other day but now people have come back from holidays, the place is a bit livelier. The IT girl fixed a new PC on my new small desk. Hahahahah after 4 years of using a laptop, typing from a PC is so weird. Hhhhmmmm….is it time to get my own laptop?

This morning, I met the head of the department who then briefed me of my new scope. It involves Best Practices and Policies and there is going to be lots of traveling. This is the part that I dread the most considering the fact that I have two small children. And guess what!!! I must read up, almost like memorise, TNB’s procurement policies and procedures and all the related circulars as soon as possible. There are the new KPIs that need to be formulated, JD to be finalized, and whaat else be?

Mummy, I wanna go home!!! Puan Suriati, how i miss you!!!!

first day of school

Today is the first day of school. So it is for my nephew, Burhanuddin Al Ahyan and niece, Alisha Shadiah. My brother mms me Burhan’s picture at school moments ago, my dear nephew looked great!!! Before I save it, I have lost it. Hope my brother re-send them to me. My sister smsed me that Alisha went to her kindergarden with her dad at 7.30 am and came home by 9.00 am because she was crying. I wonder how the tomorrow is going to be.

May these two children and their peers grow to be children of the nation, some of the greatest in the history.

nadia nasira greeting alisha akka coming back from her kindy

I couldn’t help thinking of Burhan’s grandfather on this occasion. Burhan has just lost his grandfather on his mother’s side on the eve of New Year 2009. It is rather sad because Burhan is the first grandson and I am sure his grandfather would have looked forward to sending him off to school. I hope he had his chance of seeing Burhan in uniform.

May Allah bless the kind soul and place him in Jannah. Ameen.

2009 new year's eve

Today is the eve of New Year 2009. As I was driving back from work to my MIL’s,
I went down the memory lane and reflected on how I used to celebrate new years, especially during the last years of my uni years and my late twenties. It was the most glamorous time of my life, so happening yet so unfulfilling. Those were the days, my friend.

As I was approaching my MIL’s, I saw hubby, holding little nadia nasira in one hand and pushing darling muhammad nashwan nasr in the green stroller in another. I thought to myself, ‘what a beautiful sight’ as I stopped to say hello to all of them.

From having a glamorous and lonely life, I now have the three of them in my life. Happy New Year 2009, may I have lots of goodies to look forward to this year.

house warming and thanks giving kenduri

since we moved into our new house and circumsized our son, my husband and i decided to have our house warming and thanks giving kenduri on 14 December 2008. we chose the date since my dad was also around. he is usually missed at many occasions as he is away in sabah. it was also his 67th birthday on 15 December 2008 and so, my husband and i wanted to celebrate his birthday at our new house.

we invited our close relatives and we were glad that the occasion turned out happy for both families, the children and the host as well.

Eidul Adha 2008

I have been wanting to post some pics during Eidul Adha but never got around to doing it….. Here are some.

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