i love my son as much as my daughter.... my heart is filled with overflowing love for both of them. sometimes, i feel so guilty for not being able to give my son as much attention as i had given my daughter when she was a baby. the way he looks at me when i am so busy with everything else takes my heart away. the feeling of guilt is like a sharp knife stabbing my heart everytime i think about it.
but then....Allah's design of life works in the most miraculous way. i was forced to breastfeed him exclusively, something that i am so thankful for. since nadia nasira was hospilatised 3 weeks after muhammad nashwan nasr was born, i tried to feed him with formula milk because the breastmilk supply was slowly depleting. his system rejected the formula milk from the first instance, so i thought.... but now when i reflect back, i realised that it was due to my ignorance. to think that i told my mother in law to feed a three week old baby 60 ml at one go, i wonder what i was thinking at that time. on top of it, my son is a prematured baby. oh my!!!
breasfeeding had bonded my son and me so much....so much that i feel that this is the only way i could compensate him for whatever i was lacking. he wouldn't want to be with anyone else if he knows i am around. he knows who his mummy is and there is no one else in the world he is pleased to be with but his mummy. Allahu Akhbar.