Friday, February 27, 2009

mummy's son

being the second child with an older sibling who is still a baby herself, my dearest son, the apple of my eye, had sacrificed his parents' attention since he was born. the demands of his toddler sister made his parents to constantly having to fulfill her wishes and attend to her. it is the second baby is no one's fault!!!

i love my son as much as my daughter.... my heart is filled with overflowing love for both of them. sometimes, i feel so guilty for not being able to give my son as much attention as i had given my daughter when she was a baby. the way he looks at me when i am so busy with everything else takes my heart away. the feeling of guilt is like a sharp knife stabbing my heart everytime i think about it.

but then....Allah's design of life works in the most miraculous way. i was forced to breastfeed him exclusively, something that i am so thankful for. since nadia nasira was hospilatised 3 weeks after muhammad nashwan nasr was born, i tried to feed him with formula milk because the breastmilk supply was slowly depleting. his system rejected the formula milk from the first instance, so i thought.... but now when i reflect back, i realised that it was due to my ignorance. to think that i told my mother in law to feed a three week old baby 60 ml at one go, i wonder what i was thinking at that time. on top of it, my son is a prematured baby. oh my!!!

breasfeeding had bonded my son and me so much that i feel that this is the only way i could compensate him for whatever i was lacking. he wouldn't want to be with anyone else if he knows i am around. he knows who his mummy is and there is no one else in the world he is pleased to be with but his mummy. Allahu Akhbar.

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